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addiction to connection

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Please note: Due to maintenance, our website may be unavailable a few days in September!

Jordan Fiveash

I first got connected to Jericho Road by two Good Samaritans who were loving me when I could not love myself and helping me when I couldn't help myself. Through the course of my life, I have faced the death of my mother and nana, which led me further down a darker path. I have faced physical, emotional, sexual abuse. I've been to jail. Overdoses. Homelessness, starvation, and the death of close friends due to addiction was not uncommon.

The last time I ended up in jail I wanted to seek treatment. Those two Good Samaritans did some research and helped me apply while I was still incarcerated.

Some of the biggest things I have learned about myself are all the fears that were driving me. My fear of abandonment, fear of love, fear of failure and fear of success. I had a fear of abandonment because I was constantly alone, my fear for love was rooted in a projection - the day when you would abandon me just like my biological father did. I felt that I was unworthy of love. I had a fear of failure because if I failed, that would show that I was inadequate. I had a fear of success because that would mean more responsibility on my plate which I didn’t believe I could handle.

After learning and identifying these things, I was able to see that it was all part of a distorted delusion of who I was, who you were, and the way life was.

Really, I never planned on making it past 25. Today I am 31, and grateful that I am in a place where no matter what happens, I can work through it with God. I just hope to keep growing in all ways I need to grow.

I still struggle in keeping with a structure and routine. I also have high expectations for myself and others. But I have people in the Jericho community that established trust in me and keep me accountable when they see things I might not, or things I choose to deny. I can say that is a blessing, because what is said is always constructive and comes from a place rooted in experience, strength, and hope - with no condemnation. Vulnerability, Honesty, Listening are characteristics that I enjoy about myself today.

To our supporters, as a graduate I would say that what you give enabled me to come to Jericho, break the walls down I built in my addiction, brought me to a place to learn about all the stuff inside those walls, and most importantly let me have a relationship with God.

To anyone new to our community, welcome to the family! Love and trust runs deep here, whether you just got here or been around a couple years!

To the still suffering alcoholic/addict, there is a way out. The book is not finished. The road isn't easy, but the ‘paycheck’ outweighs the pains that come with the recovery path. Just come with an open mind and willingness to stick it out. With God all things are possible.

A little Jordan humour: Why doesn’t an owl study for a test? They prefer to wing it. I am interested in anything to do with Owls. Love to watch Owl documentaries. And love Owl puns!

House Supervisor

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